Relator® is often described as the strength of deep relationships. People high in Relator value trust, authenticity and meaningful connection. At its best, Relator creates loyalty, belonging and psychological safety. At its worst, it can unintentionally create exclusion, blind spots and resistance to new perspectives. I don’t need hundreds of connections. I just need…
At its best, Positivity brings a kind of warmth that changes the feel of everything. It lifts the tone in a room, helping people keep going when things feel heavy, and spotting possibility just when others are losing sight of it. It’s as quick to notice progress as it is outcomes, building connection through genuine encouragement and energy. This is the glue in hard moments—and the spark when things start to feel flat.
The way Positivity shows up was captured brilliantly by two postdoctoral fellows I was having a coffee with. One of them had just come back from visiting her new university, and she was describing how wonderful it all was—how lovely the people were, how welcoming everything felt. Her colleague just laughed and said, “You think everywhere is wonderful because people see how wonderful you are.” He went on to explain: “You walk into a coffee shop and the barista says, ‘Your usual?’ I’ve been going to the same place, with the same person, for a year—and when he sees me, he just says, ‘What do you want?’” Then she added, “You’re like the Queen who thinks everywhere smells of fresh paint. Everywhere you go, the sun shines—and people shine on you, because you shine.
Positivity brings energy, lift, and lightness. It helps teams move through difficulty, keeps momentum alive, and reminds people why their work matters.
At its best, it’s contagious in the right way.
But like every strength, when it shows up at the wrong moment, is overplayed or under pressure, Positivity has a shadow.
And it’s often quieter—and more costly—than people realise. If you want the formal Gallup definition of Positivity, you can explore it here:
https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/253915/positivity-theme.aspx
(And if you haven’t already, you can read the wider context of this series here:
👉 https://katalytik.co.uk/the-dark-side-of-cliftonstrengths/)
What happens when Harmony becomes a liability for its host? When it goes to the darkside?
The truth is, many, many Harmony-high people dislike conflict. For more depth on conflict read the Katalytik Whitepaper on Conflict and Communication and access our insights on how you can interact more effectively with some CliftonStrengths when you understand their drivers and style. A useful reference on blindspots can be found here.
When you lead with high Positivity, you’ll be the one who feels it most when the emotional tone around you starts to dip. Heavy, critical or draining environments can feel disproportionately hard for you to sit in—especially when conversations get stuck in problems with no movement.
If negativity dominates, effort can go unrecognised, or setbacks begin to take the energy out of the group, so you’ll notice your internal pressure rising. And often, without quite deciding to, you take on the role of lifting everyone—feeling responsible for keeping things moving, keeping spirits up, and stopping the whole thing from sliding further. Or you may feel claustrophobic and leave.
It seems conflicting, but positivity can tip over into something less helpful. A client I was coaching found it hard to access gravitas because her Positivity was so strong. She found this caused difficult conversations hard. Mostly, she avoided them altogether. Other ways it can cause you a challenge:
• you may tend to frame real problems too quickly into “it’ll be fine”
• you push yourself (and others) to stay upbeat when it’s not authentic
• people feel unheard because their frustration or concern gets bypassed by you
• internally you are driven to “stay positive” rather than be real
• ultimately you cam end up carrying the emotional load for everyone else
And underneath it? Is often fatigue. Because being the energy in the room, all the time, is a heavy lift.
And so you sink to being the opposite of your natural, innate self.
Your Positivity isn’t ignoring reality, it’s energising it. But when things get tense and you are under strain, Positivity can slip into energy as avoidance
Instead of “Let’s face this and move forward”
It becomes “Let’s not sit in this too long—let’s move on”
The intention is still good. The impact? People can feel dismissed, rushed, or even silenced.
When your Positivity is overplayed, others can experience you as:
• not fully listening
• brushing past important issues
• minimising legitimate concerns
• impatient with anything “too negative”
• hard to be honest with
Ironically, this is often the opposite of what you’re trying to create.
This isn’t about dialling your Positivity down—it’s about directing it with intent. When it’s well-aimed, Positivity becomes a force for movement, not avoidance. A few small shifts make a disproportionate difference:
I really like this reframe: Positivity isn’t: “Everything’s fine”
It’s:
“We can face this—and still move forward”
And of course, no CliftonStrength exists in isolation. Depending on your own ranked order, you can also interact with others to help you shift toward the Jedi side.
| CliftonStrength | When it works well with Positivity | When the dark side creeps in |
| Strategic | Keeps the future feeling possible, even when the path is complex | Brushes past risks too quickly in favour of “it’ll work out” |
| Activator | Creates momentum with energy and optimism | Rushes into action without fully facing what’s difficult |
| Responsibility | Brings warmth and encouragement to getting things done well | Carries emotional responsibility for everyone else as well as the task |
| Maximiser | Celebrates progress and lifts standards through encouragement | Avoids tough feedback to “keep things positive” |
| Harmony | Helps create a calm, supportive environment | Smooths over conflict instead of addressing it |
| Communication | Engages and energises people with uplifting messages | Over-spins messages, leaving out the harder truths |
| Empathy | Brings genuine care and emotional connection | Absorbs and then tries to “fix” others’ feelings too quickly |
| Achiever | Sustains energy over long periods of effort | Pushes through fatigue with forced positivity |
| Relator | Builds deep, warm connections | Avoids difficult conversations to protect the relationship |
Take a moment and schedule time to reflect on your positivity. Where might your Positivity be:
• smoothing over something that needs facing?
• rushing people to “feel better” before they feel heard?
• carrying more emotional responsibility than is yours?
And what would happen if you trusted that truth first, then lift… actually creates more sustainable energy?
When you find yourself in a tricky meeting moment ask yourself “What hasn’t been said yet that needs to be?”
Then go there first.
You might say something like:
“Before we move on, can we just acknowledge this feels frustrating?”
or
“I’m noticing we’re trying to stay upbeat—but I think there’s something important underneath this.”
Then—and only then—bring your Positivity in:
“So given that… what’s one step we can take from here?”
That way, your energy builds trust instead of bypassing it.
You’re not shutting down reality—you’re helping people move through it.
Positivity is a powerful force. It brings energy, connection, and momentum when it’s needed most. But its dark side it shows up when that energy starts to override honesty—when lifting the mood becomes more important than facing what’s real.
At its best, Positivity doesn’t deny difficulty. It meets it—and then moves beyond it.
And that’s the shift:
not “stay positive”
but
“be real first—then bring the energy that helps people move forward.”
Maximizer is one of the most deceptively simple CliftonStrengths. People often assume it’s about perfectionism. Tidiness. Gold stars. A sort of relentlessly upbeat “can’t we make this nicer?” energy. But for those high in Maximizer, it’s not cosmetic. It’s existential. For me it supercharges my other themes. It drives each of them harder. It’s the instinct…
Intellection is one of the quiet powerhouses of CliftonStrengths. It brings depth, reflection and the ability to sit with big questions long after others have moved on. Often, people with Intellection offer insights that shift conversations and help teams understand what’s really going on beneath the surface. The Jedi…
A strengths deep-dive for those who never stop growing If Learner shows up in your Top 10-12, you know the thrill. That electric moment when a concept clicks. The satisfaction of mastering a new skill. The quiet joy of discovering you understand something today that was a mystery yesterday. Learner can give…
Individualization gets called a leadership superpower for a reason. You see people. You notice nuance. You adapt instinctively. You know humans aren’t interchangeable units in a system. All of that is true. But here’s the quiet plot twist: when Individualisation runs unbounded, the strength starts creating complexity instead of clarity. Think of it…
If you lead with Includer, chances are you’ve been doing this your whole life without even realising it: • You spot the person hovering at the edge. • You widen the circle so others don’t have to ask. • You notice who’s being overlooked long before anyone else clocks it. • You bring warmth, fairness, and humanity…
Reflections from Joan van den Brink’s new book Language, deficit framing, and what Wired Differently made me rethink Reading Wired Differently by Joan van den Brink set me thinking — not just about neurodiversity, but about the language we use to describe it, and…
The Dark Side of Input When collecting becomes clutter (and learning becomes avoidance) Your innate talents are things you do that are effortless. An intrinsic part of who you are and have always been. They are so much a part of you that you…
Your Harmony blindspots can lead you to frustration, stress and deep unhappiness. Here we explore how to nurture this talent and translate its power to work for you and your team
