Blindspots of Harmony
Here I explore four common blindspots caused by Harmony and strategies to shift from the dark to the Jedi side. See if you recognise this in yourself or a friend or colleague.
Blindspot #1: Avoiding or suppressing conflict
What it looks like:
Harmony-high means you are likely to thrive on agreement. But when disagreement arises, the instinct is often to smooth it over or steer the conversation away from tension. This can lead to:
- Unspoken frustrations
- Superficial consensus
- Avoidance of necessary but difficult conversations
Have you ever been heard to deflect a question or challenge with “I’m thinking about it?” or “Stop pushing me”?
This can feel deeply distressing internally, while on the surface seem like you aren’t interested. The internal stress of unresolved tension can result in:
- Emotional fatigue from constantly mediating or smoothing over disagreements
- Anxiety when conflict arises and there’s no clear resolution
- Resentment when others don’t value the effort to maintain peace
- Burnout from being the unofficial “peacekeeper” in every situation
This stress is often invisible to others. Harmony means you wear a mask of calm, whether you like it or not, while internally wrestling with the discomfort of discord. Over time, this can erode confidence and lead to disengagement. To the point you might just silently walk away.
The cost:
Important issues go unresolved. Team members may feel unheard or resentful. Innovation suffers when dissenting voices are silenced.
Strategy to shift:
🛠️ Reframe conflict as a tool, not a threat.
Teach yourself that your Harmony can see conflict as a pathway to clarity, not chaos. Use structured dialogue techniques to explore differences safely. Stay curious, try: “Help me understand your perspective.”
Blind Spot #2: Overvaluing consensus
What it looks like:
Your Harmony drives you to seek alignment. But in complex environments—like engineering teams—consensus isn’t always possible or even desirable.
The cost:
- Decisions can be made too quickly to avoid disagreement
- Group think can prevail,
- A lack of challenge means missed opportunities for innovation
Strategy to shift:
🛠️ Prioritise clarity over comfort.
Use your Harmony to slow down decision-making. Use tools like “disagree and commit” to allow space for dissent while still moving forward. Remind yourself:
Alignment doesn’t require agreement on everything. And encourage others to use their Strengths to align in a way that is meaningful to them
Blind Spot #3: Emotional overload
What it looks like:
People high in Harmony often become the unofficial peacekeeper. They absorb tension, mediate disputes, and carry the emotional weight of the group. This can have a high cost for you.
The cost:
- Burnout
- Compassion fatigue
- Feeling responsible for everyone’s emotional state
Strategy to shift:
🛠️ Set boundaries around emotional labour.
Ask yourself: “Is this mine to hold?”
Encourage shared responsibility for team dynamics. Use reflective practices to help them process emotional residue and recharge.
Blind Spot #4: Silencing your own voice
What it looks like:
In the pursuit of peace, Harmony may downplay their own opinions or defer to others to avoid rocking the boat.
The cost:
- Loss of authenticity
- Missed leadership opportunities
- Internal frustration
Strategy to shift:
🛠️ Practice assertive empathy.
Develop language that honours both others’ values and their voice:
“I see where you’re coming from, and I’d like to offer another perspective…”
Role-play scenarios where they can speak up without fear of conflict.